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LORD JESUS CHRIST SAYS

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8

26 Sep 2016

QUOTES- MEANINGFUL FUNNY QUOTES FOR THINKING.


1. “How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!'” – Unknown
2. “When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” – Will Rogers
3. “Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.” – José Maria de Eça de Queiroz
4. “Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong” – Unknown
5. “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” – Brian Gerald O’Driscoll

6. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go” – Oscar Wilde
7. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln (paraphrase from the Bible, ‘Proverbs’ 17:28)
8. “The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.” – Unknown
9. “The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes.” – Albert Einstein
10. “I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.” – Unknown
11. “Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead.” – Bill McGlashen
12. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” – Marilyn Monroe
13. “The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets” – Al McGuire
14. “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”– Mark Twain
15. “Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway?” – Unknown
16. “If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.” – Sam Levenson
17. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.” – Earl Wilson
18. “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.” – Albert Einstein
19. “The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.” – Will Rogers
20. “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” – Steven Wright

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